The Thirty-Year Old Version
Desperate for a breakthrough as she nears the big 3-o, struggling Indiana writer Miya finds inspiration by reinventing herself as a rapper. (If you've never seen The Forty-Year Old Version on Netflix, you are not going to get the refrences in this post! Go watch it!!)

I was not given a 30 Under 30 award, but I have returned home after three years living in South Korea. And the feelings of being only as good as your last accomplishment, touch starved, and a sell-out for wanting to give up on your real dreams are familiar enough to make this modern film noir too relatable to laugh at.
Two questions I'm tired of being asked:
1. Are you happy to be home?
2. What are you gonna do now?

First of all, I wouldn't use a basic word like happy, but I'm cool or whatever *shrug* I'm here. And, it's been seven hours..and thirteen days...Go watch the movie Soul and stop asking me what I'm doing. I'm enjoying my tap water. Stop asking me about the ocean.
The most shocking thing about being home is the amount of people, specifically my family members, asking me about my second book. I just wanna know who the plug is, telling my whole family about this book. Cause I know all these baby boomers are not reading my blog.
I've sent about eight queries to various publishing agents. I've recieved two rejection letters so far. And at this point, I'm not even sure if I'm invested in the book anymore. One: because it's taken five years to write it. Two: because I feel unqualified to tell the story itself. Three: ...honestly the story is borderline poverty porn. *cringe*
Last week my therapist (in so many words) suggested that I write about my real life experiences rather than writing fiction.
Me:

Am I supposed to throw away the 250-page manuscript I spent all of 2020 rewriting!?

Let's pray that one of my queries gets accepted cause I don't have a friend/manager like Archie, willing to risk it all in the name of my success. And I'm not even sure if the story is worth it anymore. I would much rather start a whole new story, than rewrite this one for the umpteenth time.
And Let's also pray that this agent is the D to my RadhaMUSprime cause I need someone to back me up and tell me that I'm not waisting my time.
I did not mean to rhyme...
"I just wanna be an artist!..Tell me what to do!!"
