I stepped into my apartment just minutes ago. It is 1:54pm as I write this on Saturday July 4th (KST). I should be at Pocheon Art Valley right now, a place I didn't know existed until three days ago. On Wednesday, I was too hype about being invited to go on a day trip to somewhere I had never been. The hype died down to 'yeah, this will be fun,' on Thursday as I searched Naver & Google for the best route to get there. The three hour travel time was not appealing but I could do it. I joked to my homegirl about changing my mind on Friday night. And just eight hours ago I was convinced I was gonna stay home. And then I got dressed, and thought I looked cute...so I continued to get ready..and then I was feeling exited on the train.
Trains are my favorite mode of transportaion. There's something so peaceful about the way the train rides and watching the geographic changes (not really in Korea though) from one city to the next.
After the forty minute train ride, I was supposed to take two buses before I could reach Pocheon. However, The bus from Gimcheon-Gumi Station to Seongju Terminal comes about four times a day. So I would've had to wait two hours and then ride two different buses for and additional two hours to get to where I was going...Um.....
I walked back into the train station and bought a ticket back to where I came from. And a sense of peace washed over me (again) as I was riding back home. Although I was annoyed about having wasted time and money, I was going back to my happy place, and I was doing it with so of my day left! Yay!
If you haven't noticed by now, I am a homebody; Damn near a hermit. And maybe it's also worth noting that my moon sign is in cancer (if you know, you know). I like being in my house. If staying home was a profession I would be a millionaire. I am safe at home and I can do as I please! Periodt.
There are two things I learned from this: One, live your truth. Sometimes I take on other people's expectations or desires as my own. We've been told to stay in the house since about February and some people are going stir crazy. I am not one of those people. As long as I have food, music and movies/books and I can stay home until the day after forever. Staying home is my favorite thing, so I don't need to force myself to to do something I know I don't want to.
The second thing is inshAllah. I have been hearing/seeing this word in passing for about a week now. The word is an Arabic expression meaning, if God wills or God willing.
After hearing this a few times, it made me think about how often I make plans to do things, big or small without consulting God. And this morning I asked God to oversee the plans I had already made without asking if it was in His will for me to go in the first place.
"This is what I'm doing today God, please bless it!" As opposed to "What is your will for me today God?"
It's funny because my true desire was to rest at home. But my desire didn't match up with that of others, so I tried to create the same deire in myself but in the end it didn't add up....And I got what I wanted/needed: to stay home, but it cost me time and nearly 50,000 in train tickets and taxi rides.
Lesson learned...At least I took some cool pictures!